Decisions, decisions

As I wait to make my exit from NZ for the first time, self-reflection comes to the forefront, an activity I’ve neglected the last few days.

I’m not any clearer about what comes next for me than when I first arrived here in the sleepy town of Palmerston North, but I do have a greater sense of peace about this uncertainty. Right now there are several possibilities before me, and each can only become more clear with the passage of time. More specifically, I am waiting to see how the stars align, and which opportunity will work out in my favour.

First. I have a job interview lined up in Sydney with the Commonwealth Bank of Australia on Tuesday. It’s a three to six month communications contract related to a technology infrastructure project. This would be THE job to advance my career, if the bank were to offer me the contract and I were to accept. It would be challenging, for sure, but it might also restore confidence in myself that I am actually good at what I do. And it would set me up for a great deal of success when I return to Canada. The question still lingering in the back of mind is, do I really want to focus on advancing my career right now? And do I really want to do it in Sydney, a city I haven’t warmed up to? My opinions on this change daily, if not hourly.

Second. I’ve applied on a two-month communications contract with the Billabong clothing company, and it’s based on the Gold Coast, the epitome of sun and surf in Australia at this time of year. The job is focused on developing and executing Billabong’s internal communications strategy, primarily their intranet and newsletter. I don’t want to speak too soon, because job descriptions are often misleading, but it sounds like I could do the job in my sleep. So if I were to pique Billabong’s interest, I would definitely accept. It would allow me to keep one foot firmly planted in the corporate life, where I am most comfortable, while giving me the freedom to plant my other foot outside my comfort zone. Ideally, in the sand.

Third. I am considering pursuing a location first, and seeking out work to follow. Location being anywhere there is sun and beach. Work being anything that temporarily lets me abandon my career, instead embracing fun and, if I am being completely honest, mindlessness. Needing money to live requires the practicality of work, so thankfully this type of job isn’t hard to find. I can easily see myself walking into a surf clothing store or coffee shop and walking out a sales associate or barista the same day. The advantage of this option is that I’ll have the energy and passion to pursue online communications contracts, a path I’ve been wanting to explore the past few months as an initial step toward starting my own business. But taking a low-paying, non-career-oriented job goes against everything I am naturally inclined to do.

So those are the options before me. Now, going back for a moment to my comment about the stars aligning. I am quite serious about this. We control the direction of our lives. We make decisions, we take action, we do what we can to influence outcomes in our favour. But at some point, we must let go of this control and leave it in the hands of…what? Destiny… God… Darwin… randomness? Whatever you may choose to call it, I believe in a force greater than all of us that determines where we end up.

Trying to plan for the unexpected has kept me awake far too many nights, so I am finally learning to let go. I have done my part. I have decided to spend a year abroad, and I have chosen Australia as the place to do it. I have decided to make this year about listening to my heart. And so I’ve bought the plane ticket, I’ve landed down under, and I’ve sought out opportunities that intuitively feel right, regardless of whether they make any sense.

Now it’s time to see how it all plays out.

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